What was I saying….?

It’s Murphy’s law… I often think up really good posts when in the shower, or sometimes when brushing my teeth or doing something equally mundane. The problem comes in during the time between my “brilliant post” thought, and the time that I actually sit down in front of my PC with some spare time. You see, I have goldfish syndrome – the 8 second memory lapse. I really should start taking notes… What was I saying? Oh, yes…

Tam has graciously nominated me for a Rockin’ Girl Blogger award. I accepted with the same grace, but I don’t always feel that much of a Rockin‘ Blogger! Because all my brilliant posts are stored away in my very dodgy memory, never to be happened upon again! I also feel dwarfed by GIGANTICALLY ROCKINbloggers like Mel, JJ, Bumble, and the likes. But hey, here in my Secret Garden, I do my thing, blog my blog, and hope that someone out there is listening.

And so, in the spirit of this prestigious award, and without further ado, I proudly present my 5 nominees for…..
1. Bea: What can I say – between her humanitarian efforts, her very popular IF Film Festival, and her beautifully honest posts, this girl rocks! She is brave and strong, and has a particularly dry sense of humour that I love! Bea is waiting on the numbers after her low (but possible) doubling time, so spare her a thought during this time, and send her lots of “growing baby” thoughts.
2. From Here to Maternity: (the road less travelled): This rockin‘ chick tells it like it is, and never sugars up the truth. She is who she is, and I like her just that way. Forging her way to motherhood without much help, this girl deserves a medal for her efforts.
3. Stick Bun: I started reading her when she first started blogging, and I have always been blown away by her intelligent and interesting writing. Rock on! She has made it across the IF abyss, and I hope that her pregnancy is a smooth and joyful experience.
4. Cibele: I got to know Cibele through the Braces Bunch, and she is such a warm spirit. She has beaten the odds and on her journey to parenthood, and I daresay, it could not have happened to a nicer person. She also has a very strong faith, and I admire her trust in God through good and bad.
5. Tam: I have been lucky enough to meet Tam (twice!) IRL. She is kind, supportive and interesting. I feel so fortunate that blogging has brought such a wonderful person into my life, she is rockin‘ for sure! Tam is going au naturale for a while with her FET on ice (so to speak). Her and I are going to have play dates for our children that are coming to us in the no-too-distant future!
There are so many others that deserve a mention – you know who you are. (If you’re fabulous, and rockin’, then yes, I’m talking to YOU! πŸ™‚
Just a quick update: off to the doc tomorrow. Hopefully I will get my protocol and then we’re away! As a side-note, BCP’s really do suck, and they do seem to drag on for all eternity… And Parl.odel isn’t that great either – it has many of the side effects of being pregnant without the actual joy of being pregnant. Things I’m grateful for: Debs making me a slice of hummus toast to try to alleviate the need to hurl! Got to love her πŸ™‚
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Prayer

I was wandering through the blogs recently and decided to check up on Sarah – infamous for her iPod Shuffle game. (Sarah, if you’re reading this: please enable feeds on your blog so I can keep up to date with your posts! Thanks darl!) To my utter amazement and joy she did an HPT and got 2 lines! That is wonderful news. Please go over there and wish her well.

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On a much sadder note, Tertia Albertyn had the following post yesterday. (She recently found out that she was pregnant – naturally):

“It’s over. The baby hasn’t grown. No heartbeat. Evacuation of the uterus on Thursday.
I feel numb.”

I am so deeply saddened by this. Tertia has been my motivation in doing IF treatment, and I regard her very highly for all she has been through. Although she has her twins, this is a cold, cruel reminder of the infertility that she endured for so long. Just when you think that “Happily Ever After” has finally set in, something like this crashes down on her.
I am thinking of her and Marko and praying for strength for both of them to pull through this. She was talking about prayer in one of her earlier posts, about the purpose of prayer.
This is what I think: When you are so low that you can’t sink any lower, prayer is a means of comfort. It is a means of offering up your troubles to a Higher Being, so that you may take rest. When there is no where left to turn, prayer offers solace. It is in the quiet moments of prayer and reflection that we draw strength, and often find the answers within ourselves.
I usually find the most fulfillment, however, when praying for others. I believe that, often without realising it, we elevate ourselves by doing this. It is the act of putting another’s needs above your own. When we choose to ignore our own problems for a minute and acknowledge someone else’s, great power lies therein.

That’s what I believe.

Teetering on The Edge

I’ll admit I have been rambling on a bit… You caught me! It is a vain attempt at keeping my mind off the AF cramps and lower backache I am so familiar with by now.
Going to the toilet is becoming a nightmare, as I am expecting scarey Aunt Flow to jump out and strangle me any second. And whilst this post may seem quite light-hearted and up-beat, inside I am teetering on the edge of sanity. My eyes are cock-eyed from all the other blogs I have been reading in an effort to ignore my own looming BFN. Good luck to Faith, Baby Blues, Bea, Smarshy, and all the other hopefuls out there.
I was about to go and slit my wrists with a blunt spoon this morning when a mail popped into my box which, I daresay, saved my sorry ass. It said the following:

GOD WANTED ME TO TELL YOU:

Everything that is going wrong in your life today shall be well with you this year. No matter how much your enemies try this year, “they will not” succeed. You have been destined to make it and you shall surely achieve all your goals this year. For the remaining months of this year (2007), all your agonies will be diverted and victory and prosperity will be incoming in abundance. Today God has confirmed the end of your sufferings sorrows and pains because HE that sits on the throne has remembered you. He has taken away the hardships and given you JOY. He will never let you down. I knocked at heaven’s door this morning, God asked me… My child! What can I do for you? And I said, “Father, please protect and bless the person reading this message”… God smiled and answered…Request granted.

Thank you Cheldene, you will will never know how much this precious little piece of SPAM meant to me. It was just what the doctor ordered. I was about 2 seconds away from giving up hope.

Still no AF yet, still have all the symptoms thereof, so watch this space. Any words of encouragement at this point would be greatly appreciated.