It’s Murphy’s law… I often think up really good posts when in the shower, or sometimes when brushing my teeth or doing something equally mundane. The problem comes in during the time between my “brilliant post” thought, and the time that I actually sit down in front of my PC with some spare time. You see, I have goldfish syndrome – the 8 second memory lapse. I really should start taking notes… What was I saying? Oh, yes…
I was wandering through the blogs recently and decided to check up on Sarah – infamous for her iPod Shuffle game. (Sarah, if you’re reading this: please enable feeds on your blog so I can keep up to date with your posts! Thanks darl!) To my utter amazement and joy she did an HPT and got 2 lines! That is wonderful news. Please go over there and wish her well.
On a much sadder note, Tertia Albertyn had the following post yesterday. (She recently found out that she was pregnant – naturally):
“It’s over. The baby hasn’t grown. No heartbeat. Evacuation of the uterus on Thursday.
I feel numb.”
I am so deeply saddened by this. Tertia has been my motivation in doing IF treatment, and I regard her very highly for all she has been through. Although she has her twins, this is a cold, cruel reminder of the infertility that she endured for so long. Just when you think that “Happily Ever After” has finally set in, something like this crashes down on her.
I am thinking of her and Marko and praying for strength for both of them to pull through this. She was talking about prayer in one of her earlier posts, about the purpose of prayer.
This is what I think: When you are so low that you can’t sink any lower, prayer is a means of comfort. It is a means of offering up your troubles to a Higher Being, so that you may take rest. When there is no where left to turn, prayer offers solace. It is in the quiet moments of prayer and reflection that we draw strength, and often find the answers within ourselves.
I usually find the most fulfillment, however, when praying for others. I believe that, often without realising it, we elevate ourselves by doing this. It is the act of putting another’s needs above your own. When we choose to ignore our own problems for a minute and acknowledge someone else’s, great power lies therein.
That’s what I believe.
I’ll admit I have been rambling on a bit… You caught me! It is a vain attempt at keeping my mind off the AF cramps and lower backache I am so familiar with by now.
Going to the toilet is becoming a nightmare, as I am expecting scarey Aunt Flow to jump out and strangle me any second. And whilst this post may seem quite light-hearted and up-beat, inside I am teetering on the edge of sanity. My eyes are cock-eyed from all the other blogs I have been reading in an effort to ignore my own looming BFN. Good luck to Faith, Baby Blues, Bea, Smarshy, and all the other hopefuls out there.
I was about to go and slit my wrists with a blunt spoon this morning when a mail popped into my box which, I daresay, saved my sorry ass. It said the following:
Everything that is going wrong in your life today shall be well with you this year. No matter how much your enemies try this year, “they will not” succeed. You have been destined to make it and you shall surely achieve all your goals this year. For the remaining months of this year (2007), all your agonies will be diverted and victory and prosperity will be incoming in abundance. Today God has confirmed the end of your sufferings sorrows and pains because HE that sits on the throne has remembered you. He has taken away the hardships and given you JOY. He will never let you down. I knocked at heaven’s door this morning, God asked me… My child! What can I do for you? And I said, “Father, please protect and bless the person reading this message”… God smiled and answered…Request granted.
Thank you Cheldene, you will will never know how much this precious little piece of SPAM meant to me. It was just what the doctor ordered. I was about 2 seconds away from giving up hope.
Still no AF yet, still have all the symptoms thereof, so watch this space. Any words of encouragement at this point would be greatly appreciated.