A New Chapter

I was reading through my old posts today, laughing, crying and feeling terribly nostalgic.  I realized that I really miss the IF community and I also really miss writing here.

Blogging was such an outlet for me in so many ways.  I love writing and being creative and it always brought me such great pleasure recreating the events of my life for my online friends to share.

I really wanted to start blogging again but wasn’t sure where to start, so I guess I’ll start here and see what happens.  I know many of my old blogger buddies have gone on to have their babies, or adopted children into their families and perhaps some, like me, just drifted away.

It has been almost 5 long years since our last failed IVF.  After the IF rollercoaster we had been on, I think I was just spent emotionally and financially.  I wanted to be “normal” again and not have to spend every waking moment thinking about not being a mother.

So I stopped everything related to TTC and just started living.  Except that I wasn’t really living.  I was in some sort of strange limbo, hoping that if I stopped thinking about it all, maybe something miraculous would happen.  So, basically and indirectly I was still thinking about it.

I have just turned 37 and still no children.  Wow, that is hard to see written out.  I feel older but only slightly wiser.

And I seem to have lost the ability to write a decent blog post.

Oh, well.  Stay tuned – maybe it’ll improve 🙂