I am sorry for the not-too-original title, but that’s the way it is people.

I am officially 6 days past transfer.  I have had the odd tweak and the odd twinge or two, but nothing unusual going on here.  I don’t even have progesterone side effects this time around.  When does implantation take place anyway?  I had the feeling with my last IVF that I had late implantation, as I had no symptoms in the 1st week as well. 

Anyway, not to obsess or anything… 

I would like to take a moment, and offer my sincerest condolences to Mary Ellen and Steve, who lost their 3 precious little girls to an infection, which Mary Ellen is still trying to fight off.  This is something which no one should have to endure.  I am so sorry ME and Steve, there are no words.  I cried as I read the words on their blog, kindly updated by their friend, Serenity.  This song is dedicated to Mary Ellen, Steve and the girls.

 Tears In Heaven

by Eric Clapton

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven?

I must be strong
And carry on,
‘Cause I know I don’t belong
Here in heaven.

Would you hold my hand
If I saw you in heaven?
Would you help me stand
If I saw you in heaven?

I’ll find my way
Through night and day,
‘Cause I know I just can’t stay
Here in heaven.

Time can bring you down,
Time can bend your knees.
Time can break your heart,
Have you begging please, begging please.

Beyond the door,
There’s peace I’m sure,
And I know there’ll be no more
Tears in heaven.

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven?

I must be strong
And carry on,
‘Cause I know I don’t belong
Here in heaven.


The Good News…

is that my embryo’s haven’t been consumed by the darkness of rolling blackouts.  I got 12 retrieved, and of those 12, 8 fertilised, and of those 8, 7 continued to grow on day 3!  This is moonsbetter than my last retrieval, which resulted in 2 good embies that ended up as an early miscarriage / biochemical PG. 

The even better news is that 2 excellent embies were transferred yesterday, and 5 more excellent embies were put on ice, so to speak.  Now that’s what I’m talking about!

With IVF 1, I was highly stressed at work, and this time, I decided to take 2 days off after my transfer to give these embies the chance they (and I) deserve.  I think I did the right thing.  I am feeling relaxed, positive, and best of all, I have some time to catch up with all of you!

The best news is that Debs is back next week, just in time to alleviate some work pressure in my 2ww.  Yeeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaaa! And we have an employee, which should take a load off as well.


Besides all that, I have been reading “The Secret”, and one thing that really struck me is this:

You can’t be thinking one thing and feeling another.  If you have bad or negative thoughts, you’ll feel bad too.  The day of my transfer I woke up and said “I have between 6 and 8 embies left today, and that makes me very happy and excited.  And guess what?  I got 7!  Weird, but 100% fact!

I want to mention “The Road Less Travelled” – she is in her 2ww after IUI.  Good luck, many blessings, my friend.  To everyone else in the 2ww, let’s look forward to February being our month ladies! 

(PS: Beta 11th Feb) 🙂

The Details

See?  This is why I love you guys!  I don’t show for a month (nearly) and you still stop by to say “hi”.  You’re lucky I’m on stims now, or there’d be a whole lot of mascara everywhere!  :0)

 So, where do I begin.  There is so much to say and my mind is so blank.  Well, firstly, let me start by saying that Lucrin (Lupron) seems to get WORSE with each passing cycle (even though this is only round 2!).  My moods were decidedly low, and yes, a little psychotic in places…  I cried about 3 times (in one week) – once in the toilets at work!  I hated my job and wanted to leave the country… And then I started stims…  and life was worth living again.  Just about.  The other thing is that the Hoff went away for 2 days on a team build, and I had to mix my own drugs!  By the end of the first one, I was nauseous and sweating, and by the second I was shooting ’em up like I’d been doing it all my life. (Right!)  I am going in for a scan on Monday to check out the follies, and then we’ll see from there.  I am feeling very positive (now that the Lucrin has been silenced somewhat).  Watch this space…

In other big news, we are finally living in darkest Africa.  Literally.  Our government has overlooked the fact that our really fast growing economy may need some additional infrastructure, including more electricity.  So now we are “over-using” by 2500MW per day, and they have to cut down by doing what they call “load-shedding”  Every day, at a(roughly) scheduled time, our lights go off.  For about 3-4 hours.  First at work, then at home.  No lights, TV, food, NOTHING.  Just oursleves and the dark.  What this means is that I lose about 3 – 4 hours of productive work time every day, and then go home and sit in the dark, losing about 2-3 hours of prime TV / blogging time!  Traffic time has doubled because none of the traffic lights work in the affected areas. (Johannesburg’s traffic has been likened to that of New York or London on a good day when the lights are working!) It is heinous, people, and there is sweet nothing to be done about it.  I was thinking,

“How the hell are we meant to have kids in these conditions?”

and, “What do other people with kids do?”

“How can you keep kids entertained, fed, warm, safe, etc. in the DARK?”

More importantly, “Will my embryo’s be safe in the lab when the darkness descends? Can I sue if they are not?”

(Sidenote: Suing hasn’t really caught on in this country, but I think that may be about to change, along with our National Anthem, which will now start, “Hello darkness my old friend”!)

So the Hoff and I went out and bought a petrol generator.  This thing is loud enough to wake the dead, and only has enough juice to keep the telly, a light or two, and the kettle going.  Nevertheless… it is a (very loud) means to an end.

And that is my bizarre, but very true story. 

Aaaaah Lucrin, My Old Friend Lucrin

The good news is that I have already started on some of those resolutions! I have hauled out the old sketch pad, and my chalk pastels and started doodling again.  I am very rusty, but it was so nice just to sit and draw again.  I will have to take photo’s of my “artwork”, thereby fulfilling one of my other resolutions, to use my new camera 🙂

I am doing very well on the Lucrin so far.  I have become a little more “outspoken”,  a sure sign of this heinous drug.  I have also had one or two very foggy-brained, headachey days.  For anyone out there on Lucrin (Lupron) or about to start, I have only one piece of advice: Water.  And lots of it.  Don’t wait ’til lunchtime either.  Get a nice, early start and aim for at least 2.5 litres per day.  That is the only thing that keeps the headaches at bay.

I am still feeling good, and quite positive although I reserve the right to change at any instant 🙂  I started work again today, and I really want this to be a fruitful year, but I am a procrastinator of note, and I can already see it’s going to be an uphill climb.  I am a little weary of this industry, and I am thinking of studying to do something different. 

Anyhoo, to all my cyclesistas out there, be tough, and believe the unbelievable.  We can do this, and we will. 

Resolutions (I know I know…)

Wow! I really missed you guys, and just had a nice big catch up session…  I wish for a happy and successful 2008 for all of you, and by successful I mean pregnancies all round! (Or live births if you’ve already crossed the great IF divide).

It has been a really relaxing, much needed break.  I am feeling positive and ready for this next cycle.  It will be my 2nd IVF, for those of you who have just tuned in.  As mentioned in my last post, January 2nd was D-day for me to start Lucrin.  I got my first “shot” this morning, and within an hour I felt the familiar fog.  I refuse to go down without a fight, so I downed 1.5 litres of water, and then felt nauseous and foggy!  I am so glad I waited ’til after the holidays!  Still feeling good though, and very determined.

I am going to try and get some acu in before the retrieval.  I am still off work, so now is a good time to kickstart all of that.  I have many, many resolutions and I need to get a start on all of them:  (or at least one heeheeheehee!)

1. I will go to gym regularly.

2. I will eat better.

3. I will try not to stress.

4. I will believe in success.

5. I will make more effort with friends.

6. I will learn how to use my fabulous new Canon EOS 400.

7. I will start to draw again.

8. I will try to complain less.

If I think of any others, I will update the list.  It’s more for my reference than anything else.  As far as resolutions go, I believe that if you don’t try, you’ll never succeed.  So I’d like to give it a good go.  I haven’t included “Have a baby” on this list, as that is not something I have a lot of control over.  And at this point in time, I’m okay with that.

All Aboard The Crazy Train

AF finally showed her ugly mug, and for once, I was happy to see her.  I went for my CD2 scan, and Dr. G described things as “quiet”.  So I got to start BCP’s – Yeeeeehaaaaaaaaa!

So far so good people.  No great shakes here.  I am just looking forward to my annual holiday which starts TOMORROW!  I think we all deserve a good break, don’t you? And I have very cleverly taken enough BCP’s to last me until after New Year, so I will only start Lucrin on the 2nd January.  I want to actually enjoy my holiday okay!

I met up with Tam on Saturday and Debs came along too.  It was great to sit with the gals and blab about IVF and all the crazy accompanying topics.  A few of the people around us tried not to stare as we dicussed our uterii, shooting up Lucrin, stims, etc etc.  Then the Hoff cam and joined us for a bite to eat, looked decidedly confused by the discussion, and made a quick exit.  (not without finishing my delicious chicken stirfry!) So that was a fun way to spend a Saturday.

Well, girls (and boys) we are on our way again.  Let me know if you have also started a cycle, so that I know who is on the crazy train with me!  IVF 2 here we come – ready or not!!!!