The IF Tide

I am picking up a pattern in the BFP’s and the BFN’s.  There is a definite cycle, and I ended up in the BFN wave in my hurry to get to IVF 2.  Silly me.

In all the blogs I read, and all the forums I stalk, there has been mostly bad news.  So I am going to play this thing like the stock-market.  As soon as I notice a change in the trend, I will be jumping onto the BFP bandwagon and riding that wave instead. I look forward to some surprising results. 

Having said that, I have put the Hoff onto a plethora of vitamins and minerals, and have done the same for myself – I am already bracing for the Statistical Bullet (as another If’ers blog is so aptly named).  I am gearing up for more acu and maybe some hypnotherapy, and a touch of yoga.  Desperate times call for desperate measures, no? Failing all of that, and my eventual FET, I will adopt.  Black, white, pink, green, whatever as long as it is human. 

You may have guessed that I am in a bit of a funk at the mo.  I am not sleeping at night, and I battle to get out of bed in the morning (probably due to the aforementioned).  I have no energy, and also feeling a tad manic.  Like, now I am fine.  Just now, however, is a whole other bag of chips. I can’t face my neighbours and their newborn.  I can’t face pregnant people who complain about being pregnant (I know I know, it’s not all roses and peonies…) and those who take their pregnancies for granted*. 

I am sorry to be such a drain, I just needed to get it out there.  I do feel a little better for it.  Just a little.

*this excludes previously infertile pregnant women – you may complain to your hearts content, and I am all ears.

6 thoughts on “The IF Tide

  1. Bea says:

    Hehe – isn’t it funny the double-standards we apply to the infertile world sometimes? I guess it’s a matter of knowing that the infertile woman appreciates the pregnancy even when she’s complaining. Or at least it’s easier to believe she does.

    I’m sorry you’re feeling so down at the moment, but I don’t truly believe there are lucky and unlucky months – just lucky and unlucky people. And actually, I was recently thinking that there’d been a few successes recently (amongst others’ disappointments) so I guess it also depends who you’re watching.

    Hope you feel a little better than a little better for it shortly. It’s an up and down road, with too much of the “down”.


  2. charne says:

    O Mands…. this journey can be hard sometimes and sometimes we can handle seen pregnant woman and other times we cant….

    I understand the whole not wanting to get out of bed and having no energy… somedays i to find it hard to face the world and just want to hide.

    As for people saying that you can at least go to the movies and do things, i have been told that so many times!! I get told to go on a holiday cause once the kids arrive……arggh that irritates me, hubby and I want to go on holiday with our future kids, not alone!!! some people just don’t understand!!

    I pray your wait is short and you dont have to wait much longer for your miracle

  3. Leigh says:

    Hey Mands
    Just to let you know I’m still here, hoping and wishing all the best for you and Duane. Looking forward to see you guys soon.

  4. seussgirl says:

    Oh Sweetie –
    I’ve missed out on reading your blog lately; I’m so sorry.
    i know words can’t help, but I’m thinking and praying for you.
    I’ve also added you to my reader now so I won’t miss you anymore!

  5. JJ says:

    Sorry for the funk…and these funks are particularly hard to get out of, arent they? Just know Im here for you…

  6. V says:

    Sorry you’re feeling so down. I have no answers for you, just lots of ((hugs)).

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