So I am sitting here, listening to JJ’s mixed CD – it’s really relaxing… That girl can sing! I heard a rumour that she has a Christmas CD for sale at her blog – I recommend you go and check it out. I certainly will.
I am just waiting on old aunt “F” to pitch up and then I am off for my CD2 scan. I am thinking I may put off IVF 2 until the beginning of January though… Don’t want to be shooting up Lucrin on holiday! That’s no fun! So we’ll see what the doc finds in there… and take him on his advice.
Mentally, emotionally I am doing much much better. I am actually really looking forward to my next attempt, and I have an unusual amount of hope and confidence in number 2. I know that will probably all dissolve with the first Lucrin shot 🙂 but I am going to revel in it for now.
All around me are pregnant family, friends and acquaintances, and yet, somehow, I am okay. I have put my biochemical behind me, and I feel free to try again. I will never forget that brief period of amazement, terror, disbelief and grief, as my body began to manifest a pregnancy and then for that to slip away. That baby will always be in my heart. Even though it was just a tiny little flicker of life. It was my tiny flicker, if only for a moment.
The one family member that I mentioned was pregnant, is having a hard time. She has been spotting and has not seen a fetal pole. I hope that her appointment on Thursday goes really well, and that there is no cause for concern. Just when I had made peace enough to phone her to congratulate her, she told me about the problems and the worry she has been experiencing, and I was touched. My heart went out to her as I listened to her fears and her uncertainty about her pregnancy. I wish only a strong and healthy pregnancy for her, and that she not have to come down this road that we are currently floundering on. Best of luck, hon. I am praying for you, as you prayed for me. You know who you are.
Debs is going for beta on Thursday, and she admitted to a bit of nausea today, though she did try to dismiss it. I am hoping that it is not nothing… but a little something that has settled in for the next nine months. We will find out on Thursday!
My next post (if I remember) will be the story of the “conception” of my blog. This was JJ’s idea, and I think it’s wonderful to acknowledge those who led us into the blogosphere, into a whole new world of friendship and support. But that’s another post for another day. Nighty night, all.