So I am sitting here, listening to JJ’s mixed CD – it’s really relaxing…  That girl can sing!  I heard a rumour that she has a Christmas CD for sale at her blog – I recommend you go and check it out.  I certainly will. 

I am just waiting on old aunt “F” to pitch up and then I am off for my CD2 scan.  I am thinking I may put off IVF 2 until the beginning of January though…  Don’t want to be shooting up Lucrin on holiday!  That’s no fun!  So we’ll see what the doc finds in there… and take him on his advice. 

Mentally, emotionally I am doing much much better.  I am actually really looking forward to my next attempt, and I have an unusual amount of hope and confidence in number 2.  I know that will probably all dissolve with the first Lucrin shot 🙂  but I am going to revel in it for now. 

All around me are pregnant family, friends and acquaintances, and yet, somehow, I am okay.  I have put my biochemical behind me, and I feel free to try again.  I will never forget that brief period of amazement, terror, disbelief and grief, as my body began to manifest a pregnancy and then for that to slip away.  That baby will always be in my heart.  Even though it was just a tiny little flicker of life.  It was my tiny flicker, if only for a moment.

The one family member that I mentioned was pregnant, is having a hard time.  She has been spotting and has not seen a fetal pole.  I hope that her appointment on Thursday goes really well, and that there is no cause for concern.  Just when I had made peace enough to phone her to congratulate her, she told me about the problems and the worry  she has been experiencing, and I was touched.  My heart went out to her as I listened to her fears and her uncertainty about her pregnancy.  I wish only a strong and healthy pregnancy for her, and that she not have to come down this road that we are currently floundering on.  Best of luck, hon.  I am praying for you, as you prayed for me.  You know who you are.

Debs is going for beta on Thursday, and she admitted to a bit of nausea today, though she did try to dismiss it.  I am hoping that it is not nothing… but a little something that has settled in for the next nine months.  We will find out on Thursday!

My next post (if I remember) will be the story of the “conception” of my blog.  This was JJ’s idea, and I think it’s wonderful to acknowledge those who led us into the blogosphere, into a whole new world of friendship and support.  But that’s another post for another day.  Nighty night, all.


14 thoughts on “Ramblings

  1. Farah says:

    i am sorry to hear about your family members pregnancy worries but glad that you have eachother.

    Hoping for good things with IVF#2 for you!

  2. JJ says:

    You are so sweet–thanks for giving me a plug! I really appreciate your support!

    I am sorry your family member is having a scare–I will keep her in my thoughts–and you know Ive got everything crossed for you for attempt and LUCKY #2!

  3. Debbie says:

    That a girl! ((HUGS))

  4. Sticky Bun says:

    I hope that things turn out okay with your family member’s pregnancy. And I’m glad that you’re feeling optimistic about the next round of ivf. I’ll be hoping right there with you!

  5. Babyblues says:

    I would wait after the Holidays too. Cycling during the Holidays could be too stressful. A new year, a new hope. I’m really hoping next year would be our year Mands.

  6. Mary Ellen says:

    You sounds good Sweetie. I am so hoping that this next round is the one.

  7. Leigh says:

    Hey Mands, I hope you and Duane have a peaceful and relaxing break.

  8. Sarah says:

    glad you’re doing well! hope things go well for that family member. taking the holidays off is a great idea.

  9. fromheretomaternity says:

    Glad you’re feeling better. Hey if you wait till January there’ll be a bunch of us shooting up in the new year. Here’s to great expectations in 2008!

  10. Bea says:

    You sound like you’re in a great frame of mind. I hope the lucrin doesn’t steal it from you completely, whenever you choose to start. That flicker of yours, no matter how heartbreaking to lose, is also a flicker of hope.


  11. ang says:

    hi there. i just came across your site while searching on the internet for “parlodel and false negative pregnany tests”. i guess that kinda says it all for me right there. humph. i just wanted to say that your blog really touched my heart. not just because i am experiencing similar issues, but you really seem like a sweet and special person. i wish you the best & i hope you will be blessed with a child soon.

  12. Becks says:

    Hey Mands, just wantd to say thanks for all the support and good luck wishes you have been sending my way – you are a star! Good luck for try number 2, I’ll be rooting for you.

  13. Becks says:

    ooohh and I could really do with knowing how to get the drop down boxes like you have under archives and categories…..if you know how to do it, could you drop me an email to onemiracleneeded@hotmail.co.uk? Thanks!

  14. Becks says:

    Hi Mands, thanks for the drop down help, it worked. I dont use blogroll so I don’t know how to guide you on that one. Do you mean you want to list the blogs you read? I know someone who has it (Tracey at Baby Steps) so could ask her if that’s what you are looking for.

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