I would like to thank everyone for their love and support. It is never easy facing a BFN, but having you all around makes it a bit more bearable somehow. This used to be a very lonely road for me. Now I feel like I have some wonderful travelling companions. It certainly makes the journey less tiresome. Special thanks to Tam, who stuck by me like glue – I lived for her e-mails in my 2ww.
I would like to tell you about someone else who is very special in my life. My grandfather. Fondly known as “papa” ever since I could talk.
My mom fell pregnant with me when she was just sixteen or so. (No, I did not inherit her terribly fertile genes!) She was young, and scared. She had discussed putting me up for adoption, and there was a wealthy couple who were interested. On the day that they arrived to discuss the adoption, my mom became very upset. My grandfather calmly called her to one side and asked her what she wanted to do. She said that she wanted to keep her baby (that would be me). My grandfather said that if that’s what she wanted, then that’s what she would do. They did not answer the door, and waited quietly in the house for the people to leave. I am not sure what transpired after that, all I know is that I was never adopted by that family, and I have my “papa” to thank for that.
My grandparents helped to take care of me up until I was about four or so, and even after my mom moved away and made a life for herself, I stayed very close to my grandparents. They have always stood by me, loved me unconditionally, and always made me feel very special. I still see them as often as I can. They are always grateful for our visits, yet I don’t see it that way. I feel that they are such a big part of my life, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Since I “came out” with my IF problems, my gran has been right there, cheering me on through everything. They are both very dear to my heart, and I hope they know it.
Last but not least my mom, who, although very young and probably very scared, chose the immense responsibility of raising me, loving, feeding and clothing me. Of course she did this with the help of my dad, because without him, who knows where we would be today. But that’s a whole other story…