IUI # 2 – Failed

By the time I left home yesterday, AF was still nowhere to be seen. I went to the pharmacy, and very nervously purchased two HPT’s. I have not done one in a very long time, because, as previous experience would have it, every time I’ve pee’d on one of those things, AF comes bursting in to say “hi”.

I waited patiently until a had a decent sized wee and slinked off to do the first one. Nothing. Not even a control line. I put it down to a spoiled test, and went to bed.

The minute I opened my eyes this morning (around 5:30) I did the second one. I lay in bed staring at it, willing that pink line to start forming. Nothing. After about 15 minutes a faint pink shmere. The Hoff came in and explained that if you held it in a certain light, it was definitely a line. It was not. It was a very faint smudge. About two hours later, AF came crashing in, hat in hand, puffing and panting as she hurried over. She had just been running late, you see. Missed the last bus, or some lame excuse.

So here I am at the conclusion of another three grand wasted. I am sad. Not crushed. Just sad. I feel a little weary, actually. Like I need a week’s sleep. Anyway, same drill as number one. Please don’t phone me. I’ll phone you . When I’m ready. All other indirect forms of communication are welcome. Thanks to everyone for their unflinching support during this cycle. I will be looking into starting my next one next week if everything works out.

All for now.


16 thoughts on “IUI # 2 – Failed

  1. Chanti says:

    I really am sorry about your BFN. All I can offer is a huge big bear hug and the empathy of knowing what it’s like to go through this. Chin up girl we’re all here for you. 🙂

  2. Anonymous says:

    Hi My sweetheart
    wish i could say something to make you feel better, but I know it is not that simple. I just want to hug you today and tell you it’s going to be ok. I love you mom

  3. Tam says:

    Hey there Mands,

    I am so so SO sorry, I am sitting here crying for you, my heart is breaking because I know exactly how you feel sweetie and I also know that this is a pain that only you can deal with. Absolutely nothing I say can make you feel better. Thinking about you and praying that this journey will be over soon xxx Hugs

  4. Venusuvian Debs says:

    I am sitting here very quietly because not only do I not know what to say, but because my heart is breaking too. If you need to talk I’m here… Love you!

  5. Leigh says:

    Hi Mands
    Let us know when you’re ready for a girls night out. Thinking of you lots.

  6. Bea says:

    I’m so sorry. Damn that little piece of oh-I’m-late hope messing it all up. Hope you can gather the energy together for the next cycle.


  7. Baby Blues says:

    Damn Aunt Flo!!! Stop messing with our heads!!! Stop crushing our hearts bitch!!!

    I’m so sorry Mands. No words could make it better, just know that I’m hurting with you. I really wanted this to work for you. No one should have to ride this rollercoaster.

    On my last IUI, as soon as I placed my urine sample I ran out the door, I couldn’t bear see the results! I came back 5 minutes later and with Mr. Kite in tow. It never fails to crush me. And yes, exactly 2 hours later Aunt Flo arrived too.

    Go ahead and take time to grieve. I got teary eyed with your mom’s comment. With so much love around you, I just know you’ll be fine.

  8. Sarah says:

    i’m so sorry you’re still on this wretched rollercoaster. i hope you find yourself on the upswing again soon.

    thanks for the support you’ve shown me on my blog. i wish every one of us a speedy escape from IF, but if we’ve got to be stuck here, i’m so grateful to have such good company.

  9. Mands says:

    I have to agree Sarah – I don’t know if I would have managed quite as well without all of you. I am eternally grateful. Sad, yes. Beaten, no. Thanks Debs for always knowing just what I need and to everyone in Blogland and out in the real world. Love you all.

  10. Reproductive Jeans says:

    Tell AF to stop catching the bus! She needs to stay away!

    I am so sorry to hear this…my heart aches for you along with the others, but I am sending you virtual cheer and hugs in hoping that you and Hoff and can have lots of snuggle time and get some rest that you need.

  11. Hopeful Mother says:

    I am so sorry, Mands. I really, really hate AF.

  12. Baby Blues says:

    I agree with you Mands. There’s so much love here. Group hug! Group hug! 🙂

  13. The Road Less Travelled says:

    Sorry about the neg test. It always feels as though someone has just given you a kick in the pants. Good luck on your next cycle. ((hugs))

  14. Bumble says:

    I’m so sorry Mands. So very sorry. I hope you’re feeling better xxx

  15. Sara says:

    Ugh! I’m so sorry. It’s just horrible that month after month, bad things happen to good people. Hang in there. I hope that you’re feeling better soon.

  16. Debbie says:

    I’m so sorry Mands. I was really routing for you. UGH, I hope you are staying strong. It will work for us, I just know it, we just need to continue to stay positive.


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