Cry Me A River.

*Revised* for easier reading:

I’m back! Thought I’d deserted you, didn’t cha! Well no, I just didn’t have a whole lot to say is all. I don’t want to bore you to tears, when I know you have many other, perfectly valid reasons to cry. Take me, for example. I have many good excuses to turn on the waterworks. Lets review, shall we:

Happy Tears:
1. Faith is pregnant! Very good news! These would be tears of joy.
2. Tertia Albertyn, yes THE Tertia Albertyn replied to a comment I put on her post today. Happy Tears! She has not forgotten us infertiles!
3. Going to see my mom and fam in 3 weeks! Very happy tears.
4. My dear, dear gran celebrated her 70th birthday this year in high spirits and excellent health. Happy tears.
5. The fact that all of you regularly log on and read this blog. Happy tears for all those supporting and loving us, it means a lot.

Sad Tears:
1. Just heard that fertile friend might (oops!) be pregnant. Sad tears.
2. Aforementioned family member now in hospital due to the aftermath of her cancer. More sad, worried tears.
3. Friend of a friend’s mom just had cancerous lump removed from her breast, starting chemo soon. Sympathetic, sad tears. (Relieved that they have caught it and are treating it though.)
4. High price of houses now that we have woken up and decided to buy our own. Tears of frustration. Possible poverty for the next 20 years.
5. Debs struggling with conflicting emotions of secondary infertility. Sad, sympathetic tears. (Secondary Infertiles don’t get the sympathy due to them.)
6. The fact that all of you regularly log on and read this blog. Sad tears , nobody should have to struggle with this.

Whew! That’s a lot of crying, and quite frankly, I don’t have the energy. I have poured all of the teary-eyed items into this post, so that 1) you have some reading material and 2) I feel better having written about it and can save myself the puffy eyes, and splitting headache.

On the IF front:
2ww going well so far, I have no symptoms of the Progesterone. In fact, I have no symptoms of anything at all. Sore Boob Check: Negative. Implantation Cramping Check: Negative. Persistent Hunger Check: Negative. Any Other Signs I Might Fall PG This Month Check: Negative.
And yet, I still feel pretty positive. I really can’t explain it. I think I may have just jinxed myself by saying that – amazing how superstitious IF makes us! I get chain mails that claim that I will have 7 years of bad luck, if I do not send them to ten people . Before, I would have spat in the face of such ludicrous claims. Now, I feverishly try to pick out ten people in my mailing list that won’t be too pee’d off if I send it to them, just so that I don’t get the bad luck. No, that might jinx my cycle, have to forward the spam. Or those ones that promise that if I forward to 5 people or more, someone will phone within half an hour with news I have been waiting to hear. Not likely, I’m not far enough into my 2ww to get that kind of news. However, I pick out five unsuspecting recipients and hit the forward button as fast as I can! (Apparently, if you wait too long to send it, even more bad luck!) Yup, it really messes with your head! That aside, I am ever-hopeful, ever-positive, and holding out for a good outcome. I am keeping it real, though. Don’t think for a second that I am fooling myself. I know that IUI has a very small success rate. BUT… a small success rate is still success, isn’t it?

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I thought I would give you another taste of Africa. This one is of ellies in the cool morning, trundling through an old riverbed. It has such a beautiful mood to it. Hope you like it.