Things I’m Grateful For..

I am pretty sure that I have written a post under the same title before…

And thank you for the wonderful salad ideas, I will be trying them out, and please don’t be shy to send me any others you have gathering dust. Elizabeth, you are quite right, we do have some mean salmon salads in this neck of the woods, and salmon is my favourite fish, so I will be getting out there to sample South Africa’s salmon salad selection! I had a salmon wrap the other day which was killer!

Onto the title topic. Things I am grateful for. Earlier this evening, I sat watching ER, the episode where Abby has her baby, and then the baby almost dies, and she and her mother do some bonding. Thankfully, all’s well that ends well. Only, I don’t remember a time where an episode like that didn’t reduce me to a snivelling wreck. I feel so strong, yet at the same time, I feel like I am walking a very thin line, on the other side of which is total melt down.

So I decided to pop onto the net and have a read through the blogs. I laughed, I cried, I sat in silent wonderment. And afterwards, I felt okay again. From Becky’s thought-provoking post to KarenO’s funny and truly amazing post about her miracle on the netball field, to heart-wrenching posts like the one from Baby Blues, waiting for her miscarriage to take it’s course. There is such a sense of community here, from the funny to the sad to the bizarre.

This brings me to things I am grateful for:

1. All of you, for enriching my life to a point where this is actually bearable.
2. My amazing family, who have really been there for me through all of this.
3. My IRL friends, Debs, Tam, Yvonne, Leigh to name a few. Even when I don’t see you, I feel your love and concern.
4. My beautiful funny doggies, Jasmine and Amber, and my kitty Cairo, my fur-kids.
5. My old, small, wonderful and charming new home. I feel happy here already, this house has a warm spirit.
6. My new bedroom curtains which were put up today. Finally I can walk around in the buff again 🙂
7. Oprah Winfrey, the world needs more people like her. She taught me to be grateful every day.

And I really try to do just that. That way, even in the face of sorrow, adversity or pain, life seems just that much better.

Some Post-Op Drivel

Do you ever have one of those days when you just can’t think of anything meaningful to say? I am having one of those days.

I managed to get my sorry butt to the clinic this morning to have my stitches out. (I was like driving miss daisy, doing 40kph all the way there!) I am feeling much better now, still quite sore but not like my skin has been stretched and then sewn into place. (Well, it was.) I am still feeling sorry for myself, though, and the nurse who removed the stitches certainly didn’t help by saying that birth was much more painful than a couple of cuts and that I should be happy that I am not still bleeding and swollen. Nothing like a bit of empathy to make you feel better. The other staff there were very sweet though, and all of the comments on yesterdays post really helped as well. And I really am feeling better. Really.

Spare a thought for my sister who has a one month old baby, and had a gall stone op yesterday. Oh, and she has a touch of bronchitis. I DARE NOT cough after this op, so I am really feeling her pain right now.

The “cable guy” arrived yesterday to install our PVR, what a godsend… what did we do before this kind of TV? I got to watch ER, Desperate Housewives and Men in Trees. It definitely helped numb the pain 🙂

Geez I am really rusty at this blogging thing. You know what they say, “use it or lose it!” I will do my best to get my head right and get working on some quality posts – not this drivel.

I am…

Hi dee ho again all! My Bloglines went on the blink, and I felt like I’d lost a whole family! Thank heavens, it’s working again, so I managed to catch up with most of you on the weekend. (hence my absence in the comments – apologies all round) That is also when I saw that I had been tagged *blush* by Tam, to write about myself. Here goes:

I am Mands, meaning loved or beloved.
I am caring, kind and compassionate,
I am stubborn, and a little rebellious.
I am a lover of animals, and children,
I am against cruelty to both.
I am saddened by violence.
I am creative, and an endless romantic.
I see beauty in the sky, in rain, in tears.
I am a sister, a wife, a godmother
( I adore my godchildren),
A daughter, a granddaughter, a daughter-in-law.
I am a best friend, in the past and in the present.
I am soft-hearted, but too proud to show it.
I am tall and fair skinned – I burn easily.
I am thirty, but sixteen at heart.
I am honest, and loyal,
I am in love with the idea of being in love,
I am crazy about music,
I love to see other people happy.
I am a believer.
I am infertile, I am childless.
I am ever hopeful.
I am Mands.

I have been out of the loop for a while, so I don’t want to double-tag! If you feel compelled to write about yourself in this way, then consider yourself tagged! And thank you for stopping by even though I have been so absent. You guys are the best 🙂

A Little Story About Me

I would like to thank everyone for their love and support. It is never easy facing a BFN, but having you all around makes it a bit more bearable somehow. This used to be a very lonely road for me. Now I feel like I have some wonderful travelling companions. It certainly makes the journey less tiresome. Special thanks to Tam, who stuck by me like glue – I lived for her e-mails in my 2ww.

I would like to tell you about someone else who is very special in my life. My grandfather. Fondly known as “papa” ever since I could talk.
My mom fell pregnant with me when she was just sixteen or so. (No, I did not inherit her terribly fertile genes!) She was young, and scared. She had discussed putting me up for adoption, and there was a wealthy couple who were interested. On the day that they arrived to discuss the adoption, my mom became very upset. My grandfather calmly called her to one side and asked her what she wanted to do. She said that she wanted to keep her baby (that would be me). My grandfather said that if that’s what she wanted, then that’s what she would do. They did not answer the door, and waited quietly in the house for the people to leave. I am not sure what transpired after that, all I know is that I was never adopted by that family, and I have my “papa” to thank for that.
My grandparents helped to take care of me up until I was about four or so, and even after my mom moved away and made a life for herself, I stayed very close to my grandparents. They have always stood by me, loved me unconditionally, and always made me feel very special. I still see them as often as I can. They are always grateful for our visits, yet I don’t see it that way. I feel that they are such a big part of my life, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Since I “came out” with my IF problems, my gran has been right there, cheering me on through everything. They are both very dear to my heart, and I hope they know it.
Last but not least my mom, who, although very young and probably very scared, chose the immense responsibility of raising me, loving, feeding and clothing me. Of course she did this with the help of my dad, because without him, who knows where we would be today. But that’s a whole other story…